I’ve been called a lot of names. We all have. But the name I’m most often called is “Josh.” I don’t know why people look at me and automatically think “Josh”. But it still happens to this day. It’s an unexplainable phenomenon, like how our eyes automatically close when we sneeze, and the science behind bad-hair days.
But being called “Josh” is nothing compared to the derogatory name-calling going on in kids’ worlds today. In school and elsewhere, children are called out by their race, religion, social status, sexual orientation, fashion sense, and myriad stereotypes. Last week’s designation as “No Name-Calling Week” by the Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) was a positive attempt to call attention the destructive effects of name-calling and its ugly stepsisters: harassment and bullying.
I like the idea behind “No Name-Calling Week”. My only question is why it can’t be “No Name-Calling Month,” “No Name-Calling Year,” or “No Name-Calling Until We Have The Ability To Relocate To Other Planets and Stop Name-Calling There.” No, the PC police haven’t recently deputized me, but I do think there can be greater understanding of the power of words to demean and belittle people. And not just standard KKK-approved racial epithets, but more commonly thrown-around descriptors like “gay,” “queer,” and “retard,” as in “that’s so gay/queer/retarded!” You can see why GLSEN has such a vested interest.
Not everyone is gung-ho about No Name-Calling. Some see bullying and social outcasting as a necessary and beneficial rite of passage -- a skin-thickening, character-building exercise. I guess the character they have in mind is Joseph McCarthy. Also, I’m not sure who comes out of a world of taunts and ridicule feeling better for the experience, but let’s hope they find the professional help or deviant 1-900 service that meets their needs.
Other people dismiss “No Name-Calling Week” as no more significant than, say, “Cukoo Dancing Week,” “Meat Week,” or “Intimate Apparel Week,” all legitimate if obscure January observances. (I’m wearing my cuckoo-dancing burger boxer shorts right now, in fact). When I brought up “No Name-Calling Week” on the opinion-friendly Maplewood Online message boards, it only inspired a riotous discussion about which rabble-rousers should probably take the week off.
But 22 states have taken persistent teasing seriously enough to pass anti-bullying laws. Included of course is New Jersey, a state that knows a thing or two about being teased. Many state legislatures were inspired by a 2002 U.S. Secret Service report that found that bullying had played a major role in several school shootings. A 2001 National Institute of Child Health and Human Development study found that 30% of students in grades 6-10 reported being bullies, victims, or both. The Justice Department categorizes name-calling as a clear form of bullying.
Perhaps most ridiculous is the suggestion by many that GLSEN is not out to reduce discrimination, but to promote and advance homosexuality. Message to these people (and you know in which red state you live): Relax. Respecting gay people won’t make you gay. Nor will watching Brokeback Mountain or even VH-1. Somehow, watching American Idol is already considered completely manly. Weird.
Last December, a writer named Jenna Glatzer created a petition to discourage people from using the words “retard” and “retarded” when they really mean silly or stupid. The petition reads, “I understand that this is hurtful to people who have disabilities and people who love them, so I will be careful with my words.” You can find the petition online, and I really think people who refuse to sign it are retarde…err, stupid.
Okay, “stupid” is a pejorative name-call too, but it actually wasn’t me who said it. It was Josh.
Name-calling is not only child’s play. Radio and television talk show hosts like Howard Stern and Bill O’Reilly frequently name-call on their programs, using playground favorites like “pinhead,” “nutty,” and “homo.” It’s all in good fun, I suppose. Well, unless you’re the pinheaded nutty homo they’re referring to. Then I guess it just stinks to be you.
The television show “All in the Family” was among the first to break name-calling ground when it premiered exactly 35 years ago this month. But unlike Stern and O’Reilly, creator Norman Lear was trying to make a point about stereotypes, not just keep people awake and tuned in. We seem to have missed that point, but if GLSEN can’t help people think straight, who can?
Josh and I both hope we can stretch “No Name-Calling Week” far beyond seven days. If done right, the event will NOT become a revered cultural observance and last forever; it will become completely unnecessary and fade into obsolescence. I think that’s what Norman had in mind.
And maybe, just maybe, people will stop calling me Josh when they really mean, “Hey you!”
See how this article appeared in the 1/26/06 News-Record
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