| Publishings From The New York Times Magazine The 36 Year-Old Version (August 12, 2007) To my naive 37-year-old eyes, my parents' condominium was just a place to sleep while my wife and I, separated after 10 years of marriage, "figured things out." -------------------------------------------------------- From The New York Post It's Quitting Time (June 2, 2008) I've resigned from eight jobs over the past 18 years, and have handled the "giving notice" moments with everything from heartfelt empathy to sadistic glee... -------------------------------------------------------- From The New York Daily News An Open Letter to Rob Zombie (September 6, 2007) ...But you can help make the real world a less brutal place than the world you depict on film... -------------------------------------------------------- From New Jersey Monthly The Mother of All Holidays (May, 2006) When my brother Paul and I were in middle school, we ordered a "personally engraved tribute plaque" for our mom a few weeks before Mother's Day... -------------------------------------------------------- From The Star-Ledger A 'Boo' for Halloween Brutality (October 31, 2006) A walk down the Halloween aisle at CVS or Walgreens proves the point: Gore again wins the popular vote... Thanks and Misgivings (November 23, 2006) I'm looking at a photo of my self topless... Holiday on Nice (December 20, 2006) Somewhere in Africa, there's a goat with an unsuspecting Kenyan family's name on it... Memorial Daze (May 25, 2007) Like many communities, Maplewood has scheduled two big events for Memorial Day... First Day Jitters for the Kid in Dad (September 4, 1007) The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life... Valentine's Day Disconnect (February 14, 2008) Valentine's Day is probably the one holiday least connected to its historical and cultural roots... -------------------------------------------------------- From Babble, the parenting spin-off of Nerve.com Father's Day (August 16, 2007) "Daddy, lock your doo-wer." one of my daughters says as we pull out of my ex-wife's driveway... -------------------------------------------------------- From CommonTies Invincibility (June 20, 2007) "She's not gonna make it," my 7-year-old son Evan announces recently... -------------------------------------------------------- From The Jewish Advocate "Saving for Invincibility" (January 25, 2008) -------------------------------------------------------- From Mediabistro.com Pubic Speaking Secrets for Job Seekers (March 19, 2008) -------------------------------------------------------- My parenting essays have also appeared in: The Irreverent Homemaker (1) The Irreverent Homemaker (2) The Irreverent Homemaker (3) Curious Parents (1) Curious Parents (2) Curious Parents (3) The Parent Paper Central Penn Parent About Families PA Windsor Parent Magazine Piedmont Parent Staten Island Parent The Village Family Magazine Sacramento Parent Magazine (1) Sacramento Parent Magazine (2) Sacramento Parent Magazine (3) Toledo Area Parent News Family-Life Magazine (Sonoma, CA) Atlanta Parent Magazine Austin Family Magazine New Jersey Family Arizona Parenting Magazine Kids Vermont Baton Rouge Parents Magazine ParentWise Austin MetroFamily Magazine Ohio Valley Parent City Parent (Ontario) Baltimore's Child Mahoning Valley Parent Magazine (Ohio) Nashville Parent Parents' Source North State Parent (California) Parenting Plus (West Palm Beach) Kansas City Parent -------------------------------------------------------- From LISTEN Magazine, January 2008 "Putting the WOW in Your Speech" -------------------------------------------------------- From HEARING HEALTH Magazine, Fall 2007 "Getting an Earful" -------------------------------------------------------- Writing Awards and Distinctions 2008 Second Place, National Society of Newspaper Columnists' Column-Writing Competition Fee-quent Flying 2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest In June, American Airlines began charging passengers $15 for the first checked bag on domestic flights. 2007 Named Humor Writer of the Month, Erma Bombeck Writing Institute, University of Dayton 'Price is Right' Audition Notes 4th Place, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Now that Drew Carey has been named to replace Bob Barker on "The Price is Right," producers have recently released their audition remarks... Citizen Came Finalist, April/May 07 HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Responding to charges it was out of touch with real life... Voter Tune-Out Finalist, February/March 07 HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Election officials have unveiled a new proposal for ensuring fair U.S. voting protocols in 2008... 2006 Thanks and Misgivings 2nd Place Winner, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest I'm looking at a photo of my self topless... First Day Jitters for the Kid in Dad Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest The night before the first day of school was always the longest night of my life Homework Bound Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Last week, my 6 year-old son's Thanksgiving-themed homework assignment was to tell a personal story... Don't Bank On It Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Few American institutions have changed as little over time as the local bank... It's Valen-Time Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest For my sister-in-law Jessica, February 14 is not only Valentine's Day, but also her birthday... My Oscar-Worthy Experience Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest Fifteen years ago, I was an unemployed 22 year-old living in a friend's studio apartment... The Age of Obsolescence Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest You know it's time to update your home technology when your six-year-old complains... When the Mice Are Away... Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest This week, my family made the six-hour trek to my ex wife's parents' house in Martha's Vineyard... In the Cards Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest June and July are big celebration months for me... Pimp My Bag Semi-Finalist, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest It's probably safe to say women are more obsessed with their personal bags than men are... Potty Train Honorable Mention, HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest ...you've probably noticed the foul odor hitting you like a slimy smack in the nose at the far end of the tracks... Beauty on the Beast Semi-Finalist,HumorPress.com Humor Writing Contest I've always been the kind of person who believed that shampoo and conditioner could coexist in the same bottle... -------------------------------------------------------- And if all this isn't exciting enough for you, check out some pictures of celebrities as kids, so you don't click home empty-handed. |
| Welcome to Jest To Kill, Joel Schwartzberg's publishing portfolio |
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| My Blogs: The Huffington Post One of the most famous political/social/lifestyle blogsites in the world NJVoices.com This is the blog home for New Jersey's The Star Ledger. |
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